I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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