where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
