Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
