the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize