i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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