why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize