i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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