So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
