not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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