Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
