I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
