Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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