Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is not my ceiling
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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