omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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