Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
