So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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