it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I had to cum in my sink.
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