I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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