Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
