Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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