...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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