i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.