If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.