U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
