Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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