i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
