It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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