words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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