would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
