You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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