i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
