The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
