Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I forget how to act sober
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