marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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