At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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