great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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