I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
