My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize