hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
