susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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