so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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