Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
