oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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