Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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