using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
