You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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