69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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