I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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