elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Your cock deserves a montage
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
