I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
