I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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