I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
