All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She needs sedatives and a leash
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
