This girl is more easily done than said...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
what day is it and did you see me today?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
