i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
