just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
