He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
