i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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