walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
please don't ironically join a cult
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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