its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize